September 03, 2025
Warning Signs of Trump Decline
Timothy Birdnow
Here is the proof that Donald Trump is gravely ill and may pass away soon!
From the [Babylon Bee courtesy of [link=https://babylonbee.com/news/10-irrefutable-signs-trumps-health-is-declining/]The Black Sphere:
1.
Trump has been occasionally posting in lowercase on social media, and his posts have been more coherent: This is not normal.
2.
He is sometimes seen sitting down: A sure sign of failing health. Obviously weak.
3.
He only managed to eat eight Big Macs today: It's like he's slowly fading away.
4.
The man's frickin' 80 or something: Obviously, anyone over 80 years old is at death's door.
5.
Trump shakes hands with nobody, says nonsense, and wanders around aimlessly: Oh, wait, that was the last guy.
6.
He shot a mere 36 on the links this weekend: Sources close to Trump say he's a shadow of his usual 24.
7.
He only works 23 hours a day now: A shocking decline in stamina.
8.
JD Vance beat him at Super Smash Bros. yesterday: This NEVER used to happen. Trump's losing his touch.
9.
He introduced just 68 new tariffs in the last eight hours: This drop in productivity is concerning.
10.
Trump's normally tangerine skin color is slowly fading to a burnt sienna hue: The end is near.
Here is the proof that Donald Trump is gravely ill and may pass away soon!
From the [Babylon Bee courtesy of [link=https://babylonbee.com/news/10-irrefutable-signs-trumps-health-is-declining/]The Black Sphere:
1.
Trump has been occasionally posting in lowercase on social media, and his posts have been more coherent: This is not normal.
2.
He is sometimes seen sitting down: A sure sign of failing health. Obviously weak.
3.
He only managed to eat eight Big Macs today: It's like he's slowly fading away.
4.
The man's frickin' 80 or something: Obviously, anyone over 80 years old is at death's door.
5.
Trump shakes hands with nobody, says nonsense, and wanders around aimlessly: Oh, wait, that was the last guy.
6.
He shot a mere 36 on the links this weekend: Sources close to Trump say he's a shadow of his usual 24.
7.
He only works 23 hours a day now: A shocking decline in stamina.
8.
JD Vance beat him at Super Smash Bros. yesterday: This NEVER used to happen. Trump's losing his touch.
9.
He introduced just 68 new tariffs in the last eight hours: This drop in productivity is concerning.
10.
Trump's normally tangerine skin color is slowly fading to a burnt sienna hue: The end is near.
Posted by: Timothy Birdnow at
10:10 AM
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1
I get the Bee as an e-mail feed every day (brag, brag), and the sheer creativity is astounding!
Posted by: Dana Mathewson at September 03, 2025 10:29 PM (1g0jP)
2
Indeed so Dana. It's hard to actually write good satire in an era where the actual news sounds more like satire than the satire, but they do a stellar job of it.
Posted by: Timothy Birdnow at September 04, 2025 07:12 AM (cm8WD)
3
Right you are, Tim; sometimes the news actually turns to something almost exactly like the Bee put out a few days prior.
Posted by: Dana Mathewson at September 05, 2025 12:31 AM (1g0jP)
4
It does indeed. We live in interesting times.
Posted by: Timothy Birdnow at September 05, 2025 06:32 AM (XLGCq)
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