January 18, 2026
Three Commies Walk into a Bar
Timthy Birdnow
A friend on Facebook posted this. Sums it up nicely:
3 Communists walk into a bar, one orders a $15 mixed drink, one a $10 Martini, and the other a $6 beer. When the bill comes, based on their mantra, they are forced to split the bill equally.
Next week, the three, once again, return to the bar, but this time, they all ask for separate checks, so the bartender asks them, why aren’t they splitting the bill equally, since in communism, everyone pays the same fair share. The three communists reluctantly agree, and once again split the check 3 ways.
The following week, the three communists return, but with a mob of devoted followers, and protest the bartender, to change the prices of all their drinks, to the cheapest drink on the menu.
In fear of his business vandalized or burned down, the bartender agrees. So the following week all the communists come in and enjoy their $6 equally priced drinks, and celebrate the successes of communism.
The Communists continue this for several more weeks, until one Friday they return to the bar, to find it closed, with a sign out front, stating that the bar is out of business.
And that comrades, is how communism works.
Slherrie Long
Posted by: Timothy Birdnow at
09:11 AM
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Paddy walks into his favorite pub in Dublin one fine Friday and orders three mugs of Guinness. The bartender pulls them and sets them down in front of him and watches him as he takes a slug from each one in turn, then continues to do so.
The bartender says "Wouldn't you prefer a single mug to drain, one at a time?" Paddy responds "No, I'm drinking with my brothers William, in New York, and Seamus in Chicago, and we're drinking in synchronization." So the bartender says "Fine," and just keeps track, until Paddy finally asks for another mug.
And so it goes for many weeks, until finally one Friday Paddy just asks for two mugs instead of three. The bartender pours them, then gently says "Not to be nosy, but I'm sorry for your loss." Paddy looks confused, takes a drink and says "What loss?"
The bartender says "Oh, I thought you may have lost one of your brothers."
Paddy laughs and says "Oh no, it's just that I myself have given up drinking."
The bartender says "Wouldn't you prefer a single mug to drain, one at a time?" Paddy responds "No, I'm drinking with my brothers William, in New York, and Seamus in Chicago, and we're drinking in synchronization." So the bartender says "Fine," and just keeps track, until Paddy finally asks for another mug.
And so it goes for many weeks, until finally one Friday Paddy just asks for two mugs instead of three. The bartender pours them, then gently says "Not to be nosy, but I'm sorry for your loss." Paddy looks confused, takes a drink and says "What loss?"
The bartender says "Oh, I thought you may have lost one of your brothers."
Paddy laughs and says "Oh no, it's just that I myself have given up drinking."
Posted by: Dana Mathewson at January 20, 2026 01:28 AM (k9h1C)
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