Birdnow's Aviary

February 18, 2026

The Return of Ten Ton Rose

Timothy Birdnow

She's baaackk...

Rosie O'Donnell Quietly Returns to U.S. After Abandoning Country Over Trump Victory

Yes, the average weight of the American People just took a sharp upward spike while the I.Q. made a noticeable dip.

Rosie was one of the few who actually moved out after Trump was elected, but now she apparently wants back in. While she didn't come to stay (she's been Ireland's problem for a while now) she is probably dipping her sausage of a toe in the water to see if it's safe to come back.

President Trump has suggested he might strip her of her citizenship then issue deportation orders. He could do worse things.

Everyone used to love Rosie O'Donnell in the early days; she seemed really nice. But that was a facade and she became increasingly angry and aggressive and moved ever leftward. Now she is just insufferable, and her head is as big as the rest of her (which is truly gargantuan). Frankly, I'm not sure how the woman was able to fit on a plane. I imagine she had to buy several tickets and take an entire row for herself. And if that plane should crash it would sink to the bottom of the sea in record time.

I'm sure Ireland didn't want her either and that's probably why she's looking to come back; she has to get out before they put her out with the other trash.

Posted by: Timothy Birdnow at 09:55 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 And in other news, I saw an article that indicated that everybody's sweetheart, Ellen DeGenerate, has recently bought a house in, I believe, the Peoples' Republic of Californica. So apparently Ireland didn't work out all that well for her. Maybe she couldn't keep getting guys to sit her back on her riding lawnmower (that was an issue for her, wasn't it) or maybe she couldn't develop a taste for Jameson whisky and blood pudding?

Posted by: Dana Mathewson at February 18, 2026 09:51 PM (+uala)

2 Ah so Ellen Degenerate is returning to America despite all her protestations. It was the only noble thing she ever did, leaving the U.S.
I hadn't heard about the riding mower thing but am not surprised.
I guess that Portia chick is coming too? Or is there trouble in paradise?

Posted by: Timothy Birdnow at February 19, 2026 08:10 AM (oflqW)

3 Can't remember if Portia's coming back with her. Or did she go with her in the first place?

Posted by: Dana Mathewson at February 19, 2026 08:40 PM (+uala)

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