Birdnow's Aviary

December 11, 2018

the Chelmian Ocasio Cortez

Jack Kemp

Geneticist: Ms. Octavio-Cortez, we have good news and bad niews for you.

AOC: What's the good news?

Geneticist: You have a small amount of Jewish ancestry, if we use the $29.95 genetics test they sell at Sam's Club.

AOC: So what's the bad news?

Geneticist: Chica, chuchifritos (fried conch fritters) aren't kosher!

AOC: Oh, well. Wait! I've got more good news myself.

Geneticist; What's that?

AOC: When I go to confession, I can now arrange to say, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. And I'd like you to meet my attorney, Mr. Goldstein!"

Geneticist: Oy, vey!

AOC: Wait! I can now write a Jewish cookbook featuring plantains and matzo balls. And I can record an album of tunes from "Fiddler on the Roof!"

Geneticist: Look, if you turn out to be part Jewish, I will certify that you must be from the same gene pool as the residents of Chelm that author Sholem Aleichem wrote about (NOTE: It was a town of fools who thought the ocean smelled so salty because it was full of herring).

AOC: Gee, maybe I'm part Swedish, like Sven and Ole. Then I can cook lutefisk with salsa!

Geneticist: I'm out of here....

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