August 04, 2019
Misadventure at the Ozark Hilton
Timothy Birdnow
Yesterday I went down to the Ozark Hilton, that luxurious shack in the rugged hills. Built almost entirely out of trash by yours truly, the OH features such amenities as a cinder block open air toilet, a rainbarrel for water, and kerosene lamps for lighting. Luxury. I've been building this thing for decades now, and have virtually never cut a board; I just find a way to make it all fit, like assembling a crazy jig saw puzzle from multiple sources.
Yesterday I was extending the roof to cover my new, spiffy porch. I was nailing up some boards when BAM! A wasp stung my thumb. I guess I was close to their nest because she (it's only females that sting, I am given to understand) put everything into it. Then, to make sure I got the point, she stung me three more times, once in the face, once in the back of my head (as I was running) and once in the arm. Those weren't so bad, but the thumb swelled up like a balloon, and then the whole hand. The worst part was that my car keys were inside the cabin - and that little love child wasn't letting me anywhere near the door. I wound up sitting up against my truck for the rest of the day.
Eventually it started to rain, and the wasps went back to their nests. That rain was MOST welcome! I would have gone home if it were earlier, but I didn't want to drive home in the dark (and man does it get dark down there!) so I stayed the night. Lucky for me I didn't go into anaphylaxis; I'd have died for sure. The Ozark Hilton isn't exactly accessible, even though I do get cell service there. Sort of. And once an AAA tow truck did pull my pickup out of a mud pit it had sunk into, but that was at the top of the drive near the road.
At any rate, I survived although my hand still resembles a surgical glove being used as a water balloon.
I've noticed that the red wasps are always the aggressors. I've shared my cabin with the black ones and they never bother me, but the red ones live outside and are quite aggressive when disturbed. I found it shameful to be chased out of my own cabin by an insect, but what are you going to do? There really is no goo way of keeping them away.
Yesterday I went down to the Ozark Hilton, that luxurious shack in the rugged hills. Built almost entirely out of trash by yours truly, the OH features such amenities as a cinder block open air toilet, a rainbarrel for water, and kerosene lamps for lighting. Luxury. I've been building this thing for decades now, and have virtually never cut a board; I just find a way to make it all fit, like assembling a crazy jig saw puzzle from multiple sources.
Yesterday I was extending the roof to cover my new, spiffy porch. I was nailing up some boards when BAM! A wasp stung my thumb. I guess I was close to their nest because she (it's only females that sting, I am given to understand) put everything into it. Then, to make sure I got the point, she stung me three more times, once in the face, once in the back of my head (as I was running) and once in the arm. Those weren't so bad, but the thumb swelled up like a balloon, and then the whole hand. The worst part was that my car keys were inside the cabin - and that little love child wasn't letting me anywhere near the door. I wound up sitting up against my truck for the rest of the day.
Eventually it started to rain, and the wasps went back to their nests. That rain was MOST welcome! I would have gone home if it were earlier, but I didn't want to drive home in the dark (and man does it get dark down there!) so I stayed the night. Lucky for me I didn't go into anaphylaxis; I'd have died for sure. The Ozark Hilton isn't exactly accessible, even though I do get cell service there. Sort of. And once an AAA tow truck did pull my pickup out of a mud pit it had sunk into, but that was at the top of the drive near the road.
At any rate, I survived although my hand still resembles a surgical glove being used as a water balloon.
I've noticed that the red wasps are always the aggressors. I've shared my cabin with the black ones and they never bother me, but the red ones live outside and are quite aggressive when disturbed. I found it shameful to be chased out of my own cabin by an insect, but what are you going to do? There really is no goo way of keeping them away.
Posted by: Timothy Birdnow at
02:17 PM
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1
Oh, dear! Glad you survived.
Actually, there IS a way of solving the problem, and it's to take a can of aerosol wasp spray and eradicate the buggers. But I suspect your objective is to try to live in harmony with nature as much as possible at the OH, and not kill anything you don't have to. And I applaud that, too.
And who knows? Wasp spray just might contribute to global warming. And we certainly can't have THAT!
Actually, there IS a way of solving the problem, and it's to take a can of aerosol wasp spray and eradicate the buggers. But I suspect your objective is to try to live in harmony with nature as much as possible at the OH, and not kill anything you don't have to. And I applaud that, too.
And who knows? Wasp spray just might contribute to global warming. And we certainly can't have THAT!
Posted by: Dana Mathewson at August 04, 2019 02:33 PM (rIYC+)
2
I tried wasp spray in the past and all it did was make the little buggers mad. And you are right, Dana; I adopt a live and let live attitude down there. In fact, the black wasps that sometimes get into the cabin have never bothered me. I've been stung by wasps there, but always the red wasps who live outside. They seem to be more aggressive. And I never did see their nest this time; it must be near where my hand was when I was stung.
I am not done with the overhang on the porch, but am afraid to finish it with those little jerks flying around there. The porch is vulnerable as long as it remains uncovered, too, so it leaves me in a pickle.
I am not done with the overhang on the porch, but am afraid to finish it with those little jerks flying around there. The porch is vulnerable as long as it remains uncovered, too, so it leaves me in a pickle.
Posted by: Timothy Birdnow at August 05, 2019 07:17 AM (OG7+L)
3
There's gotta be a way to get 'em, but it's probably dangerous -- I'm thinking of ways involving fire. And from what you tell me of the environment there, it's probably not conducive to calling in an outfit like Terminix.
Posted by: Dana Mathewson at August 05, 2019 02:55 PM (rIYC+)
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