1 Cook County? Skokie and other lousy towns. My practice wife and I used to pal around with a woman who hailed from there, and I won't go into details about either of those women except to say I'm happy I'm rid of them. The only good thing I can say about my ex is that she led to my current wife, who is the best EVER!

2 Nothing good comes out of Chicago Dana. Not surprised the former housekeeper was buddies with one.

There is a reason we despise Chicago here in St. Louis.

BTW they stole our pizza and  now try to claim the very thin crust pizza is THEIR invention when in fact it's "St. Louis Style" and always has been. (You should try it sometime; it's very different than other pizzas and takes a little time for outsiders to warm to but is absolutely delicious when done right.)

Chicago gave us the Blackhawks and Barack Obama. Truly a pitstain on the underarms of America.

3 Our old friend used never to admit she was from Skokie. When we'd cross the Canadian border and she had to tell Customs where she was from, she'd always say "Cook County, Illinois."

As far as pizza, Martha and I are thin-crusties, but I'm not sure they're quite like what you're talking about.

4 Probably not Dana. St. Louis style is thin as Harris' intellect. In fact, one of my favorites was a place that used a series of rollers to flatten it, like the old ringer on washing machines! Then it's square - usually both in shape (usually done in a cookie pan) and is cut in squares so you have some pieces with no crust. The key though is something called provel cheese, a blend of cheeses that is utterly delicious and only found here.

St. Louis style pizza is completely unique.

And while Chicago doesn't use provel they do make a thin crust and we all know where they got the idea.

BTW if you want to really taste St. Louis you get a pizza and order toasted ravioli as an appetizer. Deep fried raviolis dipped in marinara; delicious! Wash it down with a beer from one of our local breweries, say, Urban Chestnut's Zwickle, and you have a true St. Louis feast!

We also have a few other things, like St. Paul sandwhiches (egg fu young on bread) or barbequed pork steaks (picture ribs without the bones cut into steaks) add a Mayfair salad (invented at the 1904 World's Fair although it's rather been forgotten by modern folk) and you have a true taste of St. Louis.

Gosh; I just made myself hungry!

5 Sounds good.
Speaking of Chi-town, or actually the whole friggin' state of Illinois, who do you think was a guest on Greg Gutfeld tonight? None other than Rod Blagojevich! And guess who he's become quite a fan of? Hint: it's not Round-Heels! I always thought Blago had a few brains hidden away there, and he proved it. He was a lot of fun tonight. Ya never know; he might decide to turn GOP one day...