Timothy Birdnow

Over 200 new laws are set to take effect in Illinois, despite a budget deficit that is threatening to bankrupt the state and is driving businesses - and residents - to flee.

Among some of the new laws Illinois JUST CAN"T LIVE WITHOUT include: -a law forcing hair stylists , dry cleaners, and other businesses to post standard pricing for males or females; a man's haircut can no longer be cheaper than a woman's styling, or her dresses more costly to clean.

-HB1785 lets someone change their sex on their birth certificate without actually changing their genitalia.

'A new law forces car dealers to remove stickers from cars before they are driven away - even before a test drive.

-One law opens the door for 16- and 17-year olds to sign up to be organ and tissue donors when they apply for a driver's license or identification card.

-Obama's birthday is now an official state holiday.

-Phone services will have to foot the bill for women who are abused an need to change their phone numbers and whatnot.

-Judges will now be forced to waste time in divorce cases deciding custodyof pets.

-New law Ending elephant abuse in circuses.ans any African or Asian elephants from circuses operating in Illinois.

-Guarantees that customers can post on Yelp.

-SB1586 Allows DNR to establish rules for the public to scatter ashes in a state park

SB1884 Provides that research facilities shall make reasonable efforts for adoption of dogs or cats previously used in research

SB1761 Knowlege of sexual orientation is not a mitigating factor in criminal cases.

HB2369 forces public schools to provide breastfeeding accomodations for school girls with babies.

Here is a complete list.

It's good to know that the brave legislators of Illinois are on the job, protecting the People from such dire abuses as lack of breastfeeding spaces for teenage girls. So it costs more money and drives away more business; what's a few million here and there when we have important work like a state holiday for Barack Obama?

What of the bloodshed in Chicago? The state legislature would rather worry about who keeps pets in a divorce.

Illinois better not dare come to the rest of us to bail it out after this.

Posted by: Timothy Birdnow at 10:44 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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