March 27, 2019

Democrats Briefly Consider Investigating Ways To Beat Trump In An Election

Dana Mathewson

I seriously hope they don't pursue this. Their current strategy is more fun to watch.

(Hint: this is satire.)

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a closed meeting Tuesday, the Democratic caucus briefly considered investigating ways to beat Trump in an election, sources familiar with the meeting said.

"Someone suggested defeating him in an electoral process might be the quickest, simplest way to get him out of office at this point, but the idea was not popular,” one meeting attendee said on condition of anonymity for fear of being too closely associated with such a radical idea.

"Hard pass,” said one high-ranking attendee, before assuring fellow party members re-investigating everything Special Counsel Bob Mueller just investigated is the key to ending Trump’s presidency.

"Maybe if we just worked harder to earn votes in Michigan and Pennsylvania,” a caucus member from the Midwest meekly suggested, before being thrown out of the meeting.

"Earning votes is a distraction! Don’t you see what Trump is doing? He’s always distracting us!” newly minted Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez reportedly shouted, according to people inside the meeting. "Voting is for people in the cheap seats."

Some in leadership echoed the fiery, progressive leader’s concerns.

"She has a point. We don’t want the party to be caught flat-footed in some place like Wisconsin when the game is being played here. Eye on the ball, people.”

Between you and me, I doubt the idea will catch on. At least, I hope it doesn't. We've seen that the end of the Mueller "Investigation," with Attorney General Bob Barr firmly stating that the President is exonerated (Mueller left that up to him), has not deterred a number of Democrats from indicating they'll just keep on digging. It's so much more fun than actually doing the job their constituents pay them to do, don't you know? I would expect this will start to annoy said constituents, if it hasn't already, and perhaps siphon a number of votes away from their side. Let's hope so.

The article is found here: https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-briefly-consider-investigating-ways-to-beat-trump-in-an-election

Posted by: Timothy Birdnow at 11:12 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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