I wonder if this is connected to climate change....
"Researchers report that people who use a smartphone while sitting on the toilet were more likely to have hemorrhoids than people who do not."
Mr. Birdnow replies:
But of course. We all know climate change causes droughts, and with droughts we have less water to drink. Less water means greater constipation. Couple that with smart phones, which give the constipate something to do there while he waits and voila!
See how easy it is to be one of the Gang Green!
BTW Climate Change doesn't cause hemorrhoids but the people promoting the theory do their best to act like them.
1
I think you've nailed it with your last sentence.
I used to suffer from those awful things, but a few years ago I had a nice "rear-end doctor" clean up the real-estate behind me and I've had no problems since. That was before I got my smartphone -- which I don't use when I'm sitting on the john, BTW.
Posted by: Dana Mathewson at March 02, 2026 12:04 AM (9IyOR)
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I too suffer from them, but not so bad as to require treatment. I mostly get them after bouts of diarrhea.
I don't do anything on the crapper but, well, what the name implies. Never did get that whole reading magazines whil waiting thing..
Posted by: Timothy Birdnow at March 02, 2026 08:01 AM (oflqW)