Birdnow's Aviary

August 24, 2026

Carney (Unofficially) Declares War on U.S.

Timothy Birdnow

The mouse that roared? More like the mouse that squeaked pathetically.

Canadian PM Mark Carney Says Country at War with President Trump on Trade - 'We got Attacked"

What a pompous jackass!

They've been attacking US for decades with unfair trade practices, knowing our milquetoast leadership would never retaliate. Well, Mr. Trump has many bad qualities but one he does NOT have is milquetoast leadership.

So what is Carney going to do? I am mindful of an episode of the Simpsons where Abu, the Quickee Mart owner, tells Homer to stop drinking slurpees straight from the tap "I have asked you nicely to stop. Now I have no choice but to ask you nicely again".

After whining like a little b, er, girl Carney made this terrifying threat:

The Canadian PM, who previously served as a central banker, declared that retaliatory tariffs on the US will go into effect on Sept. 8. He said Canada will match the US "dollar for dollar.”

The economy of the United States is ten times as large as Canada's. It will be fun to see Carney try this; his economy will collapse.

Canada's economy is inextricably linked to the American. In 2025 Canada exported US$408.99 Billion to the U.S. Imagine if they lost all of that trade! Canada imports $262 billion from the U.S. so a trade will is something Canada is going to be hard-pressed to survive.

If Carney wants to go to war somewhere maybe he should help us in Iran. But war fever against the U.S. is silly and will cost the Canadians dearly.

Carney is up for re-election and the Conservative Party candidate is down 12 percentage points as of this month, so he probably need not fear losing his seat, but it's an election year so he needs a boogieman just in case. Orange Man is the best scary bedtime story he can tell since most Canadians take pride in one thing - they aren't Americans. Otherwise their country has little to brag about. They chose July 1 as Canada Day to coincide with our July 4 Independence day, for instance. Their national anthem was chosen by committee, as was their flag. Nothing there to point to, unlike ours which were born in fire and war.

So hating on America is Canada's big pastime. And that is what Carney hopes to exploit. But he's going to find hard words are no substitute for financial pressure. He's got a lot to lose.

Posted by: Timothy Birdnow at 11:29 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 Hmph! Is Carney aware that his largest and richest province has been making noise about breaking away from Canada and joining the U.S.? There would be a lot of work involved on both sides, but none of it would bring Carney any joy. Granted, it's quite doubtful it would happen, but if it did it would be a large blow to Canada's economy.

Posted by: Dana Mathewson at August 24, 2026 01:34 PM (+uala)

2 I'm all for Alberta becoming our next state. Lot of oil and people who aren't nuts. The rest of Canada? Maybe they can join the E. U. or something but not the United States of America.

Posted by: Timothy Birdnow at August 24, 2026 11:13 PM (oflqW)

3 Meanwhile, Carney could send Trump a strongly-worded letter. Assuming Canadians know how to write one...

Posted by: Dana Mathewson at August 26, 2026 02:58 PM (+uala)

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