Timothy Birdnow

I was going to write this in a straightforward fashion but have been watching WAY too many old cartoons since ME-TV Cartoon went on the air a couple of weeks ago.And what's the fun of a boring mouse story anyway? So without further ado....

The World of Commander McBird

Cue spinning globe.

Commander "There" Points stubby finger at St. Louis Missouri "did I ever tell you about the time I fought the great white."

Pasty English Chap "Really Commander I must be going..."

Commander pushing him back in his chair "It was in darkest night that the great beast appeared. White and toothsome and probably ten feet tall. Determined to scratch and gnaw and make other annoying noises as I lay down in my easy chair to doze. I attempted to reason with the beast, spraying mouse repellent and stinking up the joint several times but the foul creature refused to get the point.

The great beast would stop and then start back in again as soon as I left.

Hour after hour this went on, deep into the night as I was unable to get any slumber while the monster made a meal out of my living room furniture. I shook the coach vigorously to no avail. I jumped up and down, sending shock waves across the floor. I clapped my hands. All to no end. I even tried the most heinous act of all - turning on reruns of The Joy of Painting, hoping to lull the beast into a coma.

Nothing."

Pasty English chap "Why Commander whatever did you do?"

McBird "Eventually I put a mouse repellent sonic device on a long extension cord and put it under the couch. Nothing. So I moved it to the top of the couch (the couch sits next to the living room window) and headed into the deep brush to relieve myself. Upon coming back I discovered the mouse stuck on a glue trap I had laid out for just that purpose.

Thinking quickly I grabbed a fireplace shovel and bashed the squeeky little love child's mousy brains in.

Pasty English Chap "Why Commander, it sounds like you won by a whisker."

Commander "Huh? Oh yes; Quite."

Cue spinning globe and music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkVAlI2IIvI

Posted by: Timothy Birdnow at 08:56 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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