Here is one from the archives:

The Kissin' Cousin Waltz

Down here in the hills we don't make us no fuss
I grew up in the back of an old yeller bus
By the time I was 12 I done finished my grammar
and I hadn't wound up gettin sent to the slammer

My old paw said to me, boy it's time you was hitched
you should find you a woman who will make you bewitched
so I went out a lookin for a gal with fair hair
and I found my true love at a family affair.

Down in Toad Hollow, down by the creek
my cousin and me dancing close cheek to cheek

Such a pretty young thing to this fine country lad
she had most of her teeth and her breath weren't too bad
I was sure at the moment I gazed in her eyes
and noticed the shape of her rather large thighs

We was meant for each-other, a perfect matched pair
so we started a-courtin, a happy affair
pretty soon it was time we was ready to marry
my true love even shaved her dern legs; they was hairy

Down in Toad Hollow, down by the creek
my cousin and me dancing close cheek to cheek

and she cleaned up real good, a face to adore
we had to hurry up, though, before the baby was bore
the whole family made merry, full of moonshine and cheer
but because of the youngin she could only drink beer

We plan a small family, only ten or twelve kin
and we play us the lotto in the hopes that we win
I got my own business and it's doing real fine
making crystal amphetamines and a good corn moonshine

Down in Toad Hollow, down by the creek
my cousin and me dancing close cheek to cheek

Our life is just rosy, we have us no woes!
the baby was born with ten fingers and toes
and the webbing between will just make her go quick
when she races the boys as they swim in the crick

Oh my bride is a beauty with her eyes oh so blue
and her mouth is so purty from the baccy she chews
from the moment I met her my love it just grew
everyone should go dance with a cousin or two.

Posted by: Timothy Birdnow at 04:37 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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