March 10, 2018

Liberal Crackers

Timothy Birdnow

Michael Gerson compared Donald Trump to Groucho Marx, and my brother Brian asked if he was Rufus T. Firefly or Otis B. Driftwood. I wonder; if Trump is either of them, what was Obama?  Well, Captain Spalding comes to mind. 

So I wrote this little ditty with few changes from the original: Liberal Crackers

All: At last we are to meet him, the famous B. Obama.
From climates hot and scalding, the Obama has Arrived!
Most heartily we'll greet him, with plain and fancy cheering,
until he's hard of hearing. The Obama has arrived!
At last the Obama has arrived!

John Podesta: I represent the President, who insists on my informing you
of these conditions under which he comes here.
In one thing he is very strict, he wants the women big and strict,
and as for men, he don't want any crackers here.

All: As for men he don't want any crackers here.
There must be no CRACKERS!

David Brooks: The pants must not have any fold, the women hot, the champagne cold.
It's under these conditions that he comes here.

Robert Gibbs: I'm announcing President Barack Obama.

All: He's announcing President Barack Obama.

Oh dear, he is coming.
At last he's here.

Obama (speaks): Well I'm certainly grateful for this magnificent washout, eh, turnout, and, eh,
now I'd like to say a few words...
(sings) Hello, I must be going.
I cannot stay, I came to say I must be going.
I'm glad I came, but just the same I must be going.

Michael Gerson: For my sake you must stay.
If you should go away, you'll spoil this party I am throwing.

Obama: I'll stay a week or two.
I'll stay my two terms through.
But I am telling you that I must be going.

Claire McCaskill: Before you go will you oblige us
and tell us of your deeds so glowing?

Obama: I'll do anything you say.
In fact, I'll even stay!

All: Good!

Obama: But I must be blowing.

Stephanoopoulis: The Captain is a moral man.

Sometimes he finds it trying.

Obama: This fact I'll emphasize with stress:
I never take a drink unless somebody's buying.

All: The President's a very moral man!

Anthony Wiener: If he hears anything obscene,
he'll naturally repel it.

Obama: I hate a dirty joke, I do,
unless it's told by someone who knows how to tell it.

All: The President's a very moral man!
Hooray for Barack Obama!
The African implorer!

Obama: Did someone call me shnoror?

All: Hooray, hooray, hooray!

Stephanopoulis: He went to Old Chicago, where all the Organizers throw nuts.

Obama: Now I'm stuck with Biden that putz.

All: Hooray, hooray, hooray.
He put all his reliance in courage and defiance,
and risked his life for science...

Obama: Hey, hey!

Jesse Jackson: He's only a white faker.

Obama: Don't be such a wiseacre.

All: Hooray, hooray, hooray!
He put all his reliance in courage and defiance,
and risked his life for science...

Obama: Hey, hey!

All: Hooray for Barack Obama!
The African implorer!
He brought his name undying fame,
and that is why we say, hooray, hooray, hooray. (etc.).....

And as Groucho says in the movie:

Ever since I met you, I've swept you off my feet.

I was outside the cabin smoking some meat. There wasn't a cigar store in the neighborhood

Posted by: Timothy Birdnow at 09:11 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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