May 27, 2019

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the cooler...

Timothy Birdnow

So you may have a few too many suds this memorial Day? Well, this guy had you beat.

Yes, back in 2013 an Australian pig raided a campground, drank thirteen of the camper's beers, got into a fight with a cow, and eventually passed out. Sadly, the poor fellow staggered across the road and got hit by a car.

To quote Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies "that wouldn't happen if he stayed in the house where he belonged".

According to the article in Outdoor Survival:

It all started when some careless campers left out their supply of hooch – 18 cans of beer, to be precise – and the errant pig decided to help himself to the sudsy stash.

The campers at Port Hedland, near the DeGrey River, were tucked away in their tents for the night when, the next thing they knew, the feral porker was snout-deep into their beer.
"Swino” Following his rampage he decided to swim out into the middle of a river before collapsing drunk under a tree and falling asleep.

It soon started exhibiting bad manners and loutish behaviour, including picking on a nearby cow. After slurping down the liquid gold, this little piggy went to the garbage bins and began rooting around for a late night snack.

When he was finally finished boozing it up, eating, and generally causing pandemonium at the campsite, he took a dip in the river and then passed out for a post-gorge snooze under a nearby tree.

One stunned camper told ABC News, "It was in the middle of the night, and it was these people opposite us (who) heard this crunching of the can, and they got their torch out and shone it on the pig and there he was, crunching away at their cans.”

So the porcine partier got plastered on Fosters. And, as Granny observed of  razorbacks, he was a mean drunk, too:

Furthermore, the witness to these porcine shenanigans said, "Then he went and raided their rubbish…then there were some other people camped right on the edge of the river, and they saw him running around their vehicle being chased by a cow. Apparently, the pig showed up several nights in a row, causing chaos and helping himself to anything he could find to "pig out” on.

Unfortunately, the pickled porkchoop met an untimely end, being hit by a car crossing the road.

This is what happenes when you send a pig to do a man's job.

In other drunk and stupid news, a man uses a gator to open his beer deep in the Florida swwamp. I guess when you need an opener anything will do...

Posted by: Timothy Birdnow at 09:23 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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