January 31, 2022

I am not a Murderer, no Matter what these Mice Think

Timothy Birdnow

A while back we had mousepalooza here at Chez Birdnow. After the huge roden bash I got mad, and found one source of ingress and egress for them and blocked it. It had been a nice day the next day and I hope they went out to enjoy it - then froze.

In short, after Mousepalooza I got mad and was thinking of going to the mattresses. I hit one of the big boss mice at four a.m.

Oh, wait; that's the Godfather.

But I DID get mad, and I went to war.

I bought vast quantitites of poison. I bought a bunch of snap traps. And I bought some glue traps for the first time.

I had trepidations about the glue traps. They are not humane. A mouse gets stuck on them and then waits to die, in fear and trembling.

But this has to stop. So I deployed a few glue traps in areas where I could check regularly.

At any rate, it was not especially mousy yesterday, but I did catch no fewer than four mice in one of my snaptraps. Mostly little babies. But one of the glue traps produced.

I heard a knocking and went to check. Sure enough, a good sized mouse was stuck to the trap. I took pity, so I bashed it's brains in with a fireplace shovel.

It really was all I could do for the poor creature. I wasn't going to try to get it detached from the trap (it would probably bite me if I tried) and I certainly wasn't going to let it go in the cold night. There may still be an access point to the house and it still might get back in.

So I bashed it in it's little noggin with the shovel. Unfortunately, it made a squeel after the first bash (which broke my heart - I'm clearly not Godfather material) and so I bashed it again and again. Eventually it wasn't moving and it's eyes were staring.

I don't mind catching these beasts in the traps; they are dead when you get them. But they wouldn't listen to reason and so I was left with this. I had bought some of those sonic things (which apparently work for some people) and I've seen the mice stroll right past it, unconcerned. Maybe a more expensive brand? I got these at the hardware store (not a big box store) and they are probably specifically chosen by the experts there. The guys at this store know their business.

But that didn't work, nor has mouse spray. I sprayed and within minutes the mice were back, chewing on everything.

So it came down to glue traps. I needed them beccause the bigger mice have been getting away from my snap traps. One just carried the trap off and I have never found it! I suspect he's planning on using it against me one of these days.

Still, I sure hated to kill that mouse in that fashion.

I think the fact my traps are starting to produce may mean I'm winning the war. But it's got a long way to go.

I'm making them an offer they can't refuse. They seem to be gobbling the poison and setting off the traps. I think they are getting pretty hungry. I know they are looking lean.

Hopefully I'll wipe out the heads of the five mouse families, and the rest will die out. I feel bad; they are stuck inside now and even when it warms won't get out (hopefully). I wish them no real ill - I just want to kill them utterly!

Posted by: Timothy Birdnow at 09:01 AM | Comments (22) | Add Comment
Post contains 618 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Don't feel bad. They started it.

Posted by: Bill H at January 31, 2022 10:04 AM (/sW5m)

2 Zounds, Sirrah! No complaints from PETA yet?

Posted by: Dana Mathewson at January 31, 2022 11:59 PM (551jX)

3 Yeah they did Bill.

On the other hand they never put out a giant piece of flypaper to trap me.

Still, the little mafiosa have it coming...

Posted by: Timothy Birdnow at February 01, 2022 09:15 AM (Oo1ON)

4 I am expecting the protesters any day now "Mice traps are MURD$ER!"

Posted by: Timothy Birdnow at February 01, 2022 09:16 AM (Oo1ON)

5 Traps are murder if you put them out in their natural habitat. You are not doing that. You are using traps to protect your habitat. All they have to do to be unharmed by your traps is not come into your house. No evil intent is involved. Be at peace.

Posted by: Bill H at February 01, 2022 09:49 AM (/sW5m)

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7 I agree Bill.

They are little trespassing Vietcong, raiding my food and shitting on the floors to boot.

But still, the liberals would claim it's wrong. We can't even check i.d.'s for illegal aliens who do much the same here in the U.S.

I got another in a glue trap last night. It was easier bashing his little brain in at 4 a.m. in the dark, let me assure you!

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