December 25, 2019

Hillary and the Ghost of Elections Past

Timothy Birdnow

Here's a fun one from the archives!

Now old Hillary's electoral prospects were dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of her loss was certified across these United States and signed by the Electors of the College of gentlemen and ladies appointed to the task. It was called by the Associated Press on election night in November, and that is good upon Change for anything the venerable news outlet put it's hand to. Hillary's prospects were dead as a door nail.

Obama knew she was finished? Of course he did. Obama and Hillary were partners in crime for I don't know how many years.

Well, actually I do; since Obama managed to snatch the nomination from old Hillary back in 2008.

Oh! But she was a tight-fisted hand at the grind- stone, Hillary! a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old sinner! Hard and sharp as flint, from which no steel had ever struck out generous fire; secret, and self-contained, and solitary as an oyster. The cold within her froze her husband's randy ardor, nipped her pointed nose, shriveled her cheek, stiffened her gait; made her eyes red, her thin lips blue and spoke out shrewdly in her grating voice. A frosty rime was on her head, and on her eyebrows, and her wiry chin. Se carried her own low temperature always about with her; she iced her office in the dogdays; and didn't thaw it one degree at Christmas. Her pantsuits and Mao jackets were flecked with frost. And the same could be said of Obama, the old community organizer, who, if he could work his will, would have had every "bitter clinger" in Middle America boiled in his own motor oil and garnished with a dollop of high sculpture coal.

When told of her loss by John Podesta Hillary proclaimed "Bah!" said she "Humbug!" "Are there no prisons?" "No Union sweat shops?" "How could we not find enough votes in those places?"

She bemoaned the inconvenience of picking men's pockets without the government access to back it up.

At which she began devising a devious scheme; blame the Russians for doing what she herself had failed to do, steal the election.

All the Democrats got onboard, from Obama to the CIA and even old the F.B.I.'s Fezziwig Comey. The fake news media turned even bluer than when Hillary was present, crying out from every window at passers-by "Trump and the Russians stole the election!" And claims were made, claims heard by a friend who heard from a friend, who heard from another that the shadowy Russians had tampered with our election. Obama even uttered a threat to retaliate at a time of our choosing (boldly plagiarizing George W. Bush.)

After downing a full quart of vodka as was her custom and settling in for a winter's nap Hillary was awakened from her stupor to find her bed curtains drawn back and found herself face to face with an unearthly visitor.

It was like a child, yet not so like a child but like an old man. At first Hillary thought it was Huma Abedin, but she vaguely resembled Vince Foster, and also looked more like Monica Lewinsky.

"I am the ghost of elections past."

"Long past?"

"No, the elections you tampered with in YOUR past."

The Foster/Lewinsky glowed with the light of truth, and carried with her/him (now HERE is a transgendered person, thought the old lag) a conical hat.

"Put that ridiculous hat on your head; you're blinding me!"

"That is the light of truth. Would you extinguish the Truth?"

"Hell yes, if it means I can be President!"

Hillary was compelled to take hold of the cloak of the spirit and leave the room in her night clothes (and was, thankfully to all, invisible.)

Upon leaving her Chappaqua digs Hillary saw a great host, spirits wandering in the wind.

"Who are these spirits wandering in the Earth like this?"

The Ghose replied;

"These are the spirits of the deceased. They wander the Earth awaiting elections where they are granted life anew as Democratic voters."

"Oh." It made perfect sense to Hillary; she even recognized a few of them from previous elections.

The spirit conducted her first to Nairobi Kenya.

There in 2006 she witnessed her former boss, Barack Hussein Obama, a fellow member of the U.S. Senate, tampering with the Kenyan election. Obama went to Kenya to openly campaign for Raila Odinga, neo-Marxist and radical Muslim and fellow Luo tribe member. Obama appointed an aid to act as special liaison to Odinga<> and, when the other O lost, he was quite put out. Odinga claimed fraud and called for violence, which erupted across the country leading to the deaths of many Kenyans and the destruction of much property. Over 300 Christian churches were burned by Odinga's Muslim followers. A power sharing arrangement was enacted with Odinga becoming Prime Minister (at the behest of the U.S.) and repeated attempts have been made to install Odinga as President. That effort was ongoing through Hillary's tenure as Secretary of State and is still happening today.

U.S. financing of election "reforms" in Kenya amount to $20 million dollars in "aid".

Then in 2010 Hillary and Obama violated the Siljander Amendment in a push to enshrine abortion in the Kenyan constitution. This is tampering at the highest level, and the spirit told Hillary so. She replied "Humbug!"

So the Spirit took her to Honduras.

There she was shown the drama of the ouster of communist President Manuel Zalaya, who sought to overturn the Honduran constitution and install himself President-for-life.

Zalaya was term limited, but wanted more. He tried to violate the constitution by holding a referendum to get rid of that pesky term limit. He lost in court, with the Honduran Supreme Court ultimately ordering his removal from office (as he had no intention of obeying either the Court order nor the orders of his legislature.) In a perfectly legal fashion the other branches of government ordered his removal and the military carried it out. Led by Hillary, the U.S. branded this a "coup" and demanded Zalaya's return to power.

Hillary was adamant that Zalaya be returned.

"During a half-hour telephone call last week, Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton took a leading role, making it clear to Mr. Micheletti that the United States was growing impatient with the stalemate and demanding that democracy be restored.

(Interim Honduran President) Mr. Micheletti later joked with his aides that she stuck so close to her message it appeared she had a limited vocabulary.

"I kept trying to explain our position to her,” he said, according to officials close to the talks, "but all she kept

saying was, ‘Restitution, restitution, restitution.’ ”

End excerpt.

Zalaya was later allowed to return to Honduras but not to power, a result of U.S. pressure. The end result was an eruption of lawlessness and chaos that triggered a mass migration of people - especially young people - from Honduras to the United States, where the Obama Administration immediately scattered the refugees across the country.

To this Hillary responded "It's all humbug, I tell you!"

So the Lewinsky Foster figure took her to Israel.

There in 2015 the United States under her boss Obama spent $300,000 to get Benjamin Netanyahu defeated.

"But I didn't have anything to do with that!"

"No" the Spirit replied "but those who are helping you make the claim now did."

So the Spirit led on.

To Egypt, where Clinton and Obama helped drive Hosni Mubarak from power in the so-called "Arab spring" by training the young protesters on community organizing.

"In December 2008, one April 6 member visited the United States to take part in a State Department-organized "Alliance of Youth Movements Summit" in New York City. According to a recently released Wikileaks cable, the activist said he discussed with other activists there techniques to evade government surveillance and harassment."

End excerpt.

To Libya where Hillary's own policy of driving the erstwhile U.S. ally Moammar Khadafy from power led to the rise of ISIS.

To London where American banking giants Citigroup and Morgan Stanley as well as Goldman Sachs and J.P. Morgan donated massive sums of money to defeat the Brexit vote.

"But that didn't have anything to do with the U.S. government" Hillary protested.

"They took TARP money from your government and then attempted to influence a foreign election" the Spirit replied.

On and on they moved, to Belarus, to Bolivia, to Nicaragua. Everywhere the hand of the Hillary Obama machine was evident, heavily pressed on the body politic.

"Remove me!" Hillary exclaimed, "I cannot bear it!" At which she tried to smother the Spirit with his/her cap.

In the struggle, if that can be called a struggle in which the Ghost with no visible resistance on its own part was undisturbed by any effort of its adversary, Hillary observed that its light was burning high and bright; and dimly connecting that with its influence over her, she seized the extinguisher-cap, and by a sudden action pressed it down upon its head.

The Spirit dropped beneath it, so that the extinguisher covered its whole form; but though Hillary pressed it down with all her force, she could not hide the light, which streamed from under it, in an unbroken flood upon the ground.

After a moment, in which Hillary's eyes moved in opposing directions crazily, the apparition was gone.

Did you expect more? Did you expect Hillary to embrace the light and turn from her ways? Come on; this is Hillary we're talking about.

Hillary remained true to her nature, shaking down contributors and manipulating supporters and media alike. She would become a byword, a cautionary tale, an bad luck charm. It was said of her that if anyone knew how to Scrooge over the American People it was Hillary.

God help us, Everyone!

Posted by: Timothy Birdnow at 11:44 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 1665 words, total size 12 kb.

1 A delicious hat tip to Charles Dickens! Although somehow I picture Ebenezer Scrooge as a bit more like Bernie Sanders.

And of course, Dickens was an anti-Semite of the first rank, if you spot the evidence in his writing. He certainly didn't love his character Fagin in "Oliver Twist," though that worthy fellow took good care of "his" boys and never once abused them, if memory serves. If they hadn't been working for him, they'd have been starving on the streets of London.

Did Dickens write any characters like The Hag? I can't pretend to be a Dickens expert.

Posted by: Dana Mathewson at December 27, 2019 10:11 AM (LVmqo)

2 Don't know, Dana; I've only read A Christmas Carol, and Oliver Twist myself.  I suspect he did; he certainly had wonderful, interesting characters - archetypes of certain personalities.

Posted by: Timothy Birdnow at December 28, 2019 08:03 AM (6RgXq)

3 To Hillary, from Dickens: "You wear the chain you bore in life. You forged it link by link, and girded it on of your own free will."

Oh, how I would love to hear a court tell her that! And actually put the chain on her. Nobody in this country more richly deserves such a chain, though there are others who deserve a similar one, and I'm sure I don't need to name them here!

Posted by: Dana Mathewson at December 28, 2019 09:39 PM (iBtLW)

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