November 26, 2018

Casino Night at the Church

Dana Mathewson


This of course reminds me of the joke, which you all probably have heard, about the minister, the priest and the rabbi (oh, what a wonderful joke genre) who used to meet once a week for a penny-ante poker game and chat about the week's events. Sure, it was illegal on the face of it, but I'm not sure they even kept their winnings. Doesn't matter. But somehow the local cop got tipped off (probably by somebody who was annoyed that he wasn't included) and he came clumping up the stairs, leaving the worthy clergymen just time to hide the cards and the coins.

The cop was annoyed as all get-out not to see any actual evidence of gambling, but he trusted his source, and decided to interrogate each one singly. Starting with the Protestant minister, he boomed "Rev. Jones, were you gambling?"

Rev. Jones quickly asked the Lord's forgiveness for telling a lie, crossed his fingers behind his back and said, "Why, of course not, Cap. Murphy. How could you think such a thing? These gentlemen and I get together once a week to discuss current events and the state of our respected houses of worship, that's all."

Cap. Murphy isn't convinced, but he's unwilling to publicly question the word of a man of God, so he turns to the priest and says "Father Bill, were YOU gambling?" The priest resorts to the same dodge as the minister -- indeed he has been doing so ever since the confrontation began -- and he replies, with dignity, "Of course not, Officer. It's exactly as Rev. Jones has stated. And the three of us find it valuable to get each other's opinion on the state of affairs in the world today." And he nods his head firmly as if to say "And that, Sir, is THAT!"

Murphy's heard the decisiveness of Father Bill's preaching before -- this is his church, after all -- and realizes he will get nowhere with an argument. So he turns to the rabbi and says "Rabbi Schwartz, were YOU gambling?"

The rabbi looks at the cop, shrugs his shoulders and asks "With who?"
 

Posted by: Timothy Birdnow at 10:06 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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